Friday Funny 1194: Roommates Suck

>> Friday, December 02, 2016

Here are 20 examples of why roommates sometime suck: [via]









































More funny things posted all day long on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com.

Oh, and I also posted a nerdy "web design / web developer funny" on my Photo Blog this past week. Check it out HERE. Happy weekend!

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Friday Funny 1193: Thanksgiving Clap-Backs

All 3 of my Thanksgiving parties were just great. No drama or politics. But here are some people's come-backs to pushy/nosy questions from family:



More funny things posted 10x every day on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com.

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Friday Funny 1192: World Toilet Day

Did you know that "World Toilet Day" was 2 weeks ago? (Think of it as a "sanitation awareness" day for people around the world.) The website Terrible Real Estate Agent Photographs helped celebrate in their own way - with terrible real estate agent photos of toilets (and bathrooms):


On #WorldToiletDay, behold the stretched limousine of conveniences.


Definition of bad kitchen etiquette? Leaving the seat up.


When you’re down to your last few squares and there’s a paper jam.


“Honey, the guy across the street says we’re out of toilet paper”


So, I think that’s going to require a couple of flushes.


“Y’know, our new neighbors never wave back”


What you’re describing, Mr Stevens, is what we call an “out of bathroom experience.“


The Hercules is one of our most powerful toilet roll dispensers.


We don't recommend hanging around for the second movement.


I lost my hat down the toilet once.
Never, ever again.


Because who doesn’t enjoy seeing their backside repeating into infinity?


Film idea: Scientist invents teleportation machine, accidentally teleports
himself alongside toilet, slowly turns into toilet.


The bathroom is so well-appointed it interferes with the very fabric of reality.

More funny things on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com.

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Friday Funny 1191: Quotes from Astronauts About Space

These are magical:



More funny things posted all day long on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com.

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#DadLife

>> Thursday, December 01, 2016

I Instagrammed this just after Thanksgiving:


"Coming down from Thanksgiving. (Yes, he's really sleeping. No, he's never done this before.)"

About 10 days ago, I had a heart-felt post on my Photography Blog. It was about pretty easily deciding NOT to apply for my dream job because of my family. It sounds a little wacky, and it's TOTALLY a "first world problem" (where my spouse makes enough that I don't need to work full time), and maybe not everyone will understand it. It's a short post, and the last 2 paragraphs sum it up easily. So check out that post for a little insight into our life.

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Final USATF MN Team Standings

>> Tuesday, November 29, 2016

I ran a few races with my YWCA Endurance Sports team before falling injured for most of the year. Then I was able to race the FINAL race of the season last month at the Fort Snelling 15K Relay. That was a fun 3x5K team race!

Well, the final results are in. Because of the final race or 2, the men's team that I'm a part of moved up from 4th to 3rd:


Men's standings - we were 3rd in the "Blue Division."


Women's standings - they earned 3rd place as well (tied).

The men's team wasn't too far from first in the Blue Division. (It's kinda like the J.V. division for newer/not as fast teams. My understanding is that USATF MN has XX many teams in the Red division, and at the end of the year, the top team in the Blue division moves up to Red, and the bottom team in the Red division moves down to Blue. So our team should be racing Blue again in 2017.)

I had to look at the results from some of the mid-summer races that I missed. I looked at 5 races that I had on my radar before getting injured. In 3 of those, if I had been racing, we would have earned an extra point in each of them, and one of those points would have come from Life Time Run who is in 2nd. (So TC would have still had 38, my YWCA team would have had 35, Life Time would have had 33.) In the other 2 that I looked at, we didn't have a full team. So if we were just 1 runner shy of making a full team in either of those races, we would have earned a handful of more points, which could have very easily gotten us into 1st in the Blue division.

So it looks like I have a nice goal for 2017: help my YWCA Endurance Sports team win it's division in the USATF MN series! It IS possible!

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"Fast Before the Feast" 5K RACE REPORT Pushing Two Boys

>> Saturday, November 26, 2016

My wife had to work on Thanksgiving. (I LOVE YOU, HUNNIE!) So I was going to take the boys down to her family's celebration in Rochester. But first, I was going to run a 5K with the boys and her sister's family!

Flashback: I did a Thanksgiving morning race 10 years ago with my wife and her sister:


My wife, sister-in-law, and I near the start of the 2006 Turkey Trot.
(Where we "ran" with 8000 other people!)

The boys and I loaded up and headed to Tri Fitness White Bear Lake (in, duh, White Bear Lake) for the race. The roads were DEAD at 7:45 on Thanksgiving morning:


The intersection of I94 and I35-E. Normally NOT THIS DEAD!


Charlie "helping" reassemble the stroller at the race site.
"No Charlie, the handlebar doesn't go IN the stroller."


Our gang! I pushed Charlie and my nephew Wes, Steph's friend Maggie pushed
her daughter, and Jon (Steph's hubby) pushed my niece Evie and my son Henry!


Loaded up and heading to the start line! Oh, you can BARELY see this,
but I was wearing my pink plaid "Pinky and the Brain" shorts.


Our route.

Jon offered to take the "big" kids and give me the "little" kids mainly so the big kids could get out and run near the end! When they'd done that in the past with their Wes and Evie, Wes wanted to get out and run with Evie, but then he'd just stand there. Or run the wrong way. So this way I had a few pounds less weight, and the big kids got to get out and run together. Good idea Steph and Jon!

THE HARDEST PART OF ANY RACE WITH THE STROLLER FOR ME IS DEALING WITH THE "what the f*ck are you doing up here near the front with that stroller, Dad?" LOOKS THAT I GET. And I got some of those as I was sneaking up near the starting line. I smiled to everyone and said "Don't worry! I won't get in anyone's way!" Then I started chatting with a fast-looking high schooler and asked what he was hoping to run. He said 17:40, and then asked what I would "normally" run without the stroller. I told him I'd run about what he would. Seconds later, they told us to move up to the line, so I pushed him and his friend in front of me and the stroller.

"ON YOUR MARKS... GET SET... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

I took off in around 25th place, and shot up to 12th place in the first block. (I ALWAYS make sure to line up too far back and not too far forward with the stroller - I don't want to get in anyone's way.) At the first turn onto the trail next to the road, I swung wide and went onto the road - I noticed during a warm up jog with Charlie that the trail was bumpy in areas, skinny, and had chunks of snow thrown up on it from a snowplow. That was a good move, because I passed 3 people up that first hill - I don't think I would have been been able to get past those runners on that trail. Here's a pic from up that hill on the trail (where the trail is in better shape) from my race report with Henry at this 10K 4 years ago:


BABY HENRY digging for raisins. This year, I ran out to the left in the road.

My first half mile which had a bit of an uphill was 3:04.73, and the 2nd half mile was a bit more downhill in 2:54.60 for a MILE 1 TOTAL of 5:59.33.


Around mile 1, in 9th place. First was only 21 seconds
ahead of me (it looks farther in this photo).


Running through the 'burbs around mile 1.5. First pack of 3 by cream house, next pack
of 3 by white house, and 2 more right in front of me. I caught the 2 in front
of me around that next corner to move into 7th.


Before the mile 2 marker.

Mile 2 splits: 3:02.00 and 3:01.63 for a MILE 2 TOTAL of 6:03.63.

Just after the mile 2 marker, there was a brutal uphill that I was aware of from when I raced this 10K with Henry 4 years ago. As I was hunched over the handlebars contemplating death, I looked down and noticed Wes cozying up to Charlie:


Wes's head on Charlie's shoulder. Probably snoozing.

At the top of that hill, my Garmin beeped at the 2.5 mile mark. NO SURPRISE it was the slowest half mile of the day by FAR: 3:16.23. Ouch. We turned to head back down the hill we started the race running up, and I looked down at one point and noticed my Garmin at 5:04 pace. Nice. I mean, I was DYING, but... nice. I wasn't able to catch any of the speedy kids in front of me, but I also held off any runners behind me. The final full half mile was 2:50.82 for a MILE 3 TOTAL of 6:07.05. I pushed the boys to the line with a 7th place finish.


Opening the stroller after I finished. Wes looks tired/drunk.
They are still both gripping their fruit snacks from before the race.


Post-race selfie. With the banana table behind me, and the kid I
talked to pre-race with his buddy to the left (they both beat me).


Close up. I started this beard, and had it first trimmed the day before the race.
My wife still hates kissing me. The beard's sweaty here. And so is my nose. Gross.

OFFICIAL RESULTS:

Steve Stenzel, 35, M

18:20
5:54 pace
7th out of 615 overall
1st out of 18 in the 35-39 age group


Unofficial Garmin data:
3.04 miles in 18:20, which is 6:01.8 pace

5 POST RACE NOTES:

• Sure, I "ran the tangents" well, but the course seemed to be a little short. I ran a whole 10 seconds after hitting mile 3 on my Garmin before crossing the finish line. (Usually, that should be about 35 seconds or so.) Still a fun course through the suburbs!

• I was the first finisher who wasn't a teen boy. That's worth something, right? See:


And I (apparently) put a lot of space between me and the 2 guys I passed
around mile 1.5! But the lead pack who I was just 21 seconds behind mid-race
put even MORE space between them and me! Nice final mile fellas!

• There were lots of other strollers at the race, but the weirdest thing I saw was another Chariot like ours withOUT any front wheels. A woman was pushing it, and she had to keep so much weight pushing DOWN on the handlebars to keep the stroller balanced. I assumed they just had the "stroller wheels" attachment, and not the "jogging wheel" attachment too. Still, that seemed tricky/weird.

• My legs/back felt fine during the race. I made sure not to over-stride coming down that last fast hill. (Well, not over-stride TOO much.) My lower back was a bit achy later in the day and a bit the next day, but some of that was from sitting in a car for 3 hours as well. Overall, I'm quite happy with how my body held up. So far.

• I think I've gotten faster in the last 6 weeks. I did the 15K Relay (5K each for 3 runners) at Fort Snelling 6 weeks ago, and I ran a (slightly short) 5K in 18:25. That was a pretty flat race, but it was sandy in spots on a gravel trail. This past weekend, I ran a (slightly short) 5K in 18:20 while pushing 100+ lbs in a stroller. I have no idea how to compare the 2, but I think I'm moving in the right direction.


I turned around with Wes and Charlie, and we ran back up the course partly as a cool down and partly to look for Steph, Jon, Evie, and Henry.


Runners about a block from the finish.


Runners heading down the hill about 0.4 miles from the finish.


Lots of runners at the top of the hill.


Watching runners go by.

We spotted the kids just around the corner, and they were RUNNING:


Evie and Henry cruising!


Henry ran so hard that he needed a stroller break.


Back to running HARD! The kid needs to learn pacing.




Steph with the kids, Jon with an empty stroller.


Off to the finish!


The kids both got a medal.


I Instagrammed this pic post-race.

My boys and I zipped home right away. I took a washcloth to my face, pits, and groin (in that order OF COURSE), changed clothes, got the boys changed, and we hit the road for 90 minutes for Thanksgiving with my wife's family in Rochester.


The 4 kids at the kiddie table for Thanksgiving dinner.


A "dance party" in the basement.


A few minutes into our drive home around 4 pm - holding his SpiderMan puzzle (of all things).

You can see more pics from this course from 4 years ago when I did this race with 17-month-old Henry in this post. Happy post-Thanksgiving, everyone!

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All content and original images copyright 2006 - 2016 by Steve Stenzel, AKA "Steve in a Speedo." All Rights Reserved.
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