>> Friday, May 31, 2013
BuzzFeed recently posted a very true list called 14 Things You Always Say You’ll Do At The Beginning Of Every Summer:
1. Explore and do everything!!!
Reality: Spend all day on the internet.
2. Have a summer fling.
Reality: Forever alone…and sweaty.
3. Be adventurous; explore the outdoors.
Reality: Remember that there are bugs and things waiting to devour your flesh.
4. Go to the beach more.
Reality: Remember you are lazy.
5. Get a nice sun kissed glow.
6. Reality: Come out of the sun looking like uncooked meat with a side of mayonaise.
7. Catch up on all those books everyone’s talking about.
Reality: Get a lot of books. Read one or two. Spend the rest of your money on drinks.
8. Go to a summer festival.
Reality: Spend hundreds of dollars to sweat in a giant ball of humans five million feet away from the band you actually came to see. With this guy.
9. Get away from work. Go on a real vacation.
Reality: “Let me just check my email....”
Also, if that “vacation” is with your family...
10. Go on a summer road trip.
Reality: Realize that all this summer fun requires some sort of planning. And money.
11. Complain about how long winter/spring-that-was-basically-winter lasted.
Reality: Find yourself fondly remembering the majestic beauty that is winter.
12. Scope out babes by the pool.
Reality: Realize you have the sex appeal and grace of a giant bear.
Also, FACT: If you try to look sexy by the beach, nature will troll you.
You’ve been warned.
13. Party all summer!
Reality: Too hot to leave the house. Too hot to move.
Too hot to breathe. Brb dying.
14. Convince yourself you’ll be fine with just the fans in your apartment.